We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
