my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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