She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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