Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
