I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize