We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
