White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
