Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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