No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
