garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
