i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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