The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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