ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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