her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
