I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
