I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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