So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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