you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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