I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
40s are totally the cure
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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