i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
