we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
