I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
