Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
