in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize