I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
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I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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