he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
