he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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