i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
