Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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