she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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