i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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