i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
