I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
