Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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