So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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