would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
NoShamevember. You game?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
