the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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