Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
