operation harelip BJ is a go
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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