Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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