Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
