She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
