hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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