my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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