so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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