Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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