i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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