i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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