apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
