Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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