careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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