I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
