I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
