the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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