don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
