I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
