I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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