Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
