Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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