Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
