Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why didn't you poke me back
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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