Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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