i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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