just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
