dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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