you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
