Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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