He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
