singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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