I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
