It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize